Wednesday, October 26, 2016


While taking my daily walk I was overcome by a desire for chocolate. The nearest place to get a Hershey bar, or similar treat, was--I fondly thought--a liquor store directly across from my apartment building. A teetotaler, I do not usually patronize such establishments, but, visions of Milky Ways dancing in my head, I boldly entered, and, making my way past the displays of potent beverages stacked shoulder-high, located the counter and looked about for a display of sweetmeats. I looked in vain. Upon my inquiry, the genial clerk informed me that “liquor stores aren’t allowed to sell that sort of stuff”. Feeling ignorant and vaguely embarrassed, I smiled weakly and departed.

 I had to wonder why this prohibition exists. What prompted our Solons to pass such legislation? Was it, perhaps, that impressionable tots might toddle in to buy a peppermint patty and mistakenly leave with peppermint schnapps? Was it to avoid giving innocent Youth the notion that a store that sells candy must only sell innocuous things so they might as well get a bottle of gin to wash down their Snickers? Was any thought given to simply prohibiting liquor stores from selling M&Ms to those under 21 (and carding questionable patrons)? I wonder…

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Not Original, but Worthwhile


Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named BOOK.

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electricity, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. Even a child of four can operate it.

You can use the compact and portable BOOK anywhere, even sitting in an armchair by the fire.

BOOK is constructed of sequentially-numbered sheets of paper (“pages”), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information.

The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device (the “binder”) that keeps them in correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling information density and cutting costs. Additional density can be obtained by varying the size of the type and the width of the margins. Pages are completely recyclable.

Each page is scanned optically by end-users, registering information directly to the brain. A mere flick of the finger takes users to the next page. BOOK requires no passwords and may be used at any time by simply opening it.

BOOK never crashes or needs rebooting. The “browse” feature allows users to move easily forward or backwards. Many BOOKs come with an “index” feature that pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant visual retrieval.

An optional accessory, the BOOKmark, allows users to open BOOK to the exact place they left when shutting down (“closing”) BOOK. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; the same one can be used in any BOOK. Several may be used in the same BOOK to store many views.

Users can also make data entries in BOOKs by using programming tools: Portable Erasable Non-Complex Intercommunication Language Styli (“Pencils”) or Portable Enhancing Nibs (“Pens”).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as the crest of a new entertainment wave. Also, BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content-creators have committed to the platform and investors are flocking in. BOOK has already been embraced by such noted programmers as Homer, Dante, Shakespeare, Goethe, Tolstoy, and Faulkner.