Thursday, November 26, 2015

Remembrance of Essays Past

I regret that I have not posted anything for a long time. The state of the world, perhaps, has somewhat dried up my comic muse, and one or two new articles on education should await a time when I am no longer connected with the profession on a salaried basis--a time soon coming. Here, however, is a comic sketch I published on this blog in July, 2011. It occurs to me that some visitors to this blog may not have taken time to review many earlier posts, so, if you have not seen this, here it is. Several other such essays await those who boldly delve into the many items easily accessible via the chronological menus on the left side of this page.

And, of course, a Happy Thanksgiving to all!

    A Modest Proposal    by B.A. Libby, B.A., M.A., etc.


Teaching history to kinesthetic high-schoolers is challenging because history is usually studied by reading and listening; to learn history has heretofore meant using books, or hearing about events from savants who, having devoted their lives to such study, can highlight, and simplify complex matters for easy reception by tender minds.1 Now, however, with students who find it difficult to learn by such antique methods, modern pedagogues must develop new rubrics, new praxis, new epistemologies.2

We present here an exemplary project that we hope will stimulate many other educational professionals (“teachers”) to develop and expand innovative methodologies.

                                PROJECT 1812


One of the most dramatic and important events of the early 19th Century was the French invasion of Russia. Project 1812 focuses on the catastrophic dénouement of this, the largest military operation before World War I, which set in motion the downfall of the First Empire and the victory of the reactionary regimes of the Age of Metternich (1815-1848).

The retreat from Moscow has often been described--e.g. Tolstoy’s magnificent treatment in War and Peace--but how can one bring the reality of what happened to people who cannot readily comprehend the written or the spoken word? We think we have found a way.


Most Modern European History courses will reach the second half of the Napoleonic Era in December or early January, which is the perfect--indeed, the only--time when this Project can be properly conducted.

 è  On a very cold day with high wind chill, all the kinesthetic learners will be driven to a mall, or other public location, about five miles from campus. They may wear only light summer clothing, such as T-shirts, shorts, cotton slacks, and sandals. Each will receive a sandwich, a pint of bottled water, and a knapsack containing about fifty pounds of hockey pucks.

Rationale:  The flimsy clothing and scanty food simulate the dress and rations of most French soldiers during the retreat from Moscow. The knapsacks simulate the vast assortment of loot that the French took from the ruined city, confident that they could bring it back to France.

 è  The students will be told they will get $1 for each hockey puck they bring to campus.

 Rationale:  Students will have the opportunity to experience the common dilemma of greed vs. reason, in that they must decide whether, and when, to lighten or discard the valuable but heavy knapsacks in order to have a better chance of reaching home.

 è  The students will walk back to campus.

 è  It is highly desirable that, as a part of our Community Relations, a number of local people take part in the Project. Their job is to follow the students, and, when any fall behind the main body by more than fifty yards, to pelt them with stones, throw them into ponds, or beat them with clubs.

 Rationale:  The citizens simulate the Russian peasants and Cossacks who followed the French army from a safe distance but attacked stragglers.

 è  A teacher will ride beside the students in a chauffeur-driven car, calling out encouragement to his “troops” and composing bombastic “official bulletins” announcing that the campaign is going very well. (To assist with the bulletins, he may be accompanied by a “chief of staff” provided by the Office of Institutional Advancement.) When his limousine is half a mile from the school, he will wave encouragingly to the freezing remains of his “army” and be driven quickly back to campus, leaving his men to finish the trek on their own.

 Rationale: The teacher simulates Napoleon, who departed the army in a swift coach on December 5, two weeks before the epic retreat ended.

 è Those students who reach campus will be given a cup of hot chocolate and sent to the hospital. The others will be buried.

The 1812 Project gives haptic learners a “hands-on” experience like no other. Instead of merely looking at artifacts in a museum or using colored markers to occupy their fidgety fingers, they will feel they have actually participated in an important historical event. It is an experience they will remember to the ends of their lives. (This is especially true for those who do not reach campus, since their lives and the Project will end simultaneously.) At least half of the survivors will have permanent “memory triggers” right on their bodies (such as the stumps of frostbitten fingers and toes after amputation at the hospital).3 No need for hard-to-read books or boring lectures to teach them what happened!


Hardy kinesthetics who insist on remaining at the school after Project 1812 will take part in Project 1941, “Hitler’s Retreat From Moscow” (which is very similar to Project 1812 except that the local people may use rifles).

Schools in warm climates may obtain satisfactory results from Project 1917 (The Project to End Projects), a simulation of Passchendaele (3rd Ypres). It takes place in soft, muddy ground in early spring or late autumn. (Project 1917 provides a fine opportunity for some cross-disciplinary activity: for added realism, the Science Department can manufacture phosgene and mustard gas for use as the kinesthetics slog through the knee-deep mud towards distant, unattainable objectives.)
1  Kinesthetic (or “haptic”) learners (for the benefit of nonprofessionals who might not know) are those who, we are told, cannot learn much from reading or listening, but who learn best by doing things with their hands and the movement of their bodies. Some laymen, ignorant of current pedagogical “best practice,” might think that such students would not be enrolled in preparatory schools or aspire to college diplomas, but would instead be directed into shop classes, vo-techs, the lower enlisted ranks of the armed forces, and similar places where they could use their talents to best advantage without cluttering up the halls of academe; but that is not the case today.

 2  I do not really know what these last words mean, but I have noticed that the most esteemed educational experts and holders of Doctorates of Education use them quite a bit. I thought I should use them too, so I will be taken seriously.

 3  For these, the “hands-on” experience can also be a “hands-off” experience!

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Books, Anyone?

My abilities are as a writer, however humble, certainly exceed my ablities as a businessman. I have been urging folks to buy my books but have not for a long time posted information on their prices if ordered from me. (You may of course get them from So here is a list for anyone who would like to order signed copies from the author. (Prices include postage).
       Brian Libby / 1000 Shumway Ave. / Faribault, MN 55021  
Storm Approaching - $17
Gold and Glory - $20
Resolution - $20
The Free Lands - $23

And Gladly Teach - $15
Hodgepodge - $10

I encourage you to browse this blog for information on, and excerpts from, the books. There is, for example, an informative flyer at March, 2014.

Friday, June 26, 2015

The 200th Anniversary

Hello, all. I have not posted anything for a long time. I just haven't been inspired by any humorous thoughts for quite a while--and the news in recent days is not going to inspire any, either. But in a more serious vein, I post here a link to a 45-minute presentation I gave on June 5 during Alumni Weekend at my school. For several years the Alumni Office has asked me to give an annual lecture to those alumni who wish to attend. My topics have included D-Day, Napoleon's Russian campaign, and the centenary of the start of World War I. This year I chose the 200th anniversary of the most famous battle ever fought. Attendance was fairly good--although you will not see most of the audience in the video. Anyway, take a look if you want to see what I do for a living (but normally to younger audiences whose attendance is not voluntary). I'd like to hear any feedback you may have.
Perhaps I should also add, lest visitors forget, that the main purpose of this blog is to drum up support for my six books. I invite you to explore the blog to learn more about them, or to contact me with any questions you might have. I especially invite you to buy one... or two... or....  They are quite good, you know. :-)    

Monday, February 23, 2015

Every Day A New Millennium

This little essay may seem obscure to those who are not teachers, and consequently are not constantly belabored by the phrase "twenty-first century skills", but you who have the privilege of being fellow members of the noblest profession should see what I'm getting at.
Siena Superior Merit School -- Siena, Italy
                                    Prospectus for the Year 1517

Parents and students who wish to embrace the future and who realize that the traditional dull, stultifying rote learning of the Trivium (grammar, logic, rhetoric) and Quadrivium (arithmetic, geometry, music, astronomy) do not prepare young people for the exciting world of the future should consider enrollment in Italy’s most innovative and creative educational institution, the Siena Superior Merit School.

 At SSMS, we strive to equip our scholars with SIXTEENTH CENTURY SKILLS, the skills they will need to succeed in the exciting modern era of the new century, a century that is so different from all preceding centuries that entirely novel educational methods are required.
We have instituted CENTRI DI ECCELLENZA (CdEs) to allow students to pursue their passions in areas of great importance for this dynamic new century:

E The ASTROLOGY CdE:  Advances in the highest celestial art make traditional astronomical studies all but obsolete. As sure knowledge of this science progresses, those who grasp it fully are assured of profitable employment. Why study the past when you can predict the future?

E  The ALCHEMICAL CdE:  What young man would not thrill to the exciting pursuit of the Philosopher’s Stone? Turn lead into gold! Experiments in our newly-completed, ultra-modern facility, Farelli Hall, (a gift from an alumnus most successful in the manufacture of gun- powder), will not be without some danger, but the survivors graduates of this CdE will be fully equipped to lead the way in further advances in Alchemy, the Science of the Future.

E The THEOLOGY CdE:  Those students whose passion is for truth and certainty will surely thrill to the careful exegesis of sacred texts and close study of Canon Law. What can be more certain than that, as the Holy Catholic Church enters its 1,500th year of existence, its eternal truths assure its unchallengeable domination of our continent, and eventually the world? We plan to open a branch school in Wittenberg, Germany, under the direction of Father Johann Tetzel, Europe’s foremost expert on indulgences.
We have also instituted CLASSI MISCELATI (“Classes that are Blended”) to give students adequate time to pursue their passions. These classes meet just twice per week. By a magical process that has to be experienced to be understood, students will learn just as much as before, even though they meet 60% less than before, in those rather obsolescent areas—such as Italian, History, and Foreign Languages—that are really no longer as relevant in the dynamic Sixteenth Century as they were in the benighted twenty centuries that preceded our new, exciting age. 
Note: Pedagogues needing further enlightenment should consult "Well, Hello," the post for 7 July 2013. 

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Happy Reading!

I want to wish everyone out there a very Merry Christmas and a felicitous New Year, as well as to remind all and sundry that
Storm Approaching (Part I of the Mercenaries series),
Gold and Glory (Part II)
Resolution (Part III)
The Free Lands (Part IV)
And Gladly Teach (educational satire) and
Hodgepodge (humorous essays)

are still available (at Amazon, other online retailers, or from the author).Why not buy (and even read) one (or more) of these fine books?    

Sunday, November 2, 2014

HERE WE GO AGAIN: Health for the Holidays

Those helpful folks at Wellness Weekly have begun their annual cam-paign against anyone enjoying himself (see essays of December 2013 and Jan. & Feb. of this year, “Healthy Eating,”, “More Health”, and “Yet More Health”). In the October 6 issue of their killjoy newsletter they proffer even more valuable advice as to how we should conduct ourselves as “the temperature drops” and “many of us turn to rich foods,” which might have a terrible consequence: “if we aren’t careful” we might “gain weight”.

In case any of you are inclined to reckless indulgence, in case you might be tempted by Satan to gourmandize on such things as chips, hot dogs, pizza, wings, beer, hot chocolate, pumpkin-spice lattés, apple cider, whipped cream, caramel drizzles, cream of potato and broccoli cheese soups; soups containing cream, cheese, or meat; pumpkin layer cake, cheesecake, bread pudding, macaroni and cheese, Halloween candy, or yams and sweet potatoes mixed with cheese, cream, butter, canned soup, or bacon—(I thought yams and sweet potatoes were the same thing, but the bulletin differentiates)—here is some useful advice:

- If you are watching television while you eat anything, do push-ups, sit-ups, or jumping jacks during halftime or commercials. (And, I might add, after the game why not run around your house a few times, rappel from your roof, or turn somersaults on the lawn?)

- Pedal on a stationary bike while you watch a game.

- Why not drink green tea instead of malevolent beverages like hot chocolate or cider?

-  Chew sugarless gum. (Perhaps they might also suggest chewing the gum wrappers. They will taste just as good.)

- Hide the candy. (They suggest this twice: “Stash sweets out of sight” and “Put candy bowls out of sight”. One must ask, why do they seem to endorse preparing these hidden bowls at all?)

Remember, sinners, all it takes is an extra hundred calories a day to gain ten pounds in a year.

You may not be able to die rich, but you can certainly die skinny, thus saving money for your heirs when they can purchase a small coffin.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

More Mirth

The revised and expanded edition of my collection of essays is now out. Hodgepodge, the successor to Miscellanea, contains seven items not found in its predecessor; three items were deleted. I particularly recommend essay 23, "The Adventure of the Surprising Ending," my only foray into fan fiction, a gentle satire of the great TV series 'Agatha Christie's Poirot' starring David Suchet. 

Hodgepodge is available at Amazon in print copy and will be available as an e-book before too long. It's also available from the author for $10 (postpaid). 

Brian Libby / 1000 Shumway Ave. / Faribault, MN 55021